To Casey McAcrtressness Esquire III
I love the study of history. I love it because most people take Henry Ford's view that it's, "just one damn thing after another." What a bunch of stupid fuckers. I'm not delusional enough to think there are any inherent lessons to learn from history. Nope, nu-uh, wrong-o. History tickles my balls because it's not just a field of study, it's a perspective. It's like studying the mind through past actions. It can be applied to everything. Nothing escapes the all-seeing eye of the historical perspective.
Yes, smartass kid in the back?
But what about the things that aren't recorded?
You weren't paying attention. History is a perspective, not just a study. Yeah, we read a bunch of old documents. We look at old pictures. We talk to people who were there; people who lived it. We dig up shit. We run tests. We do all those things and more. But that isn't my point.
My point is, we remember. If we don't remember, we don't learn. And so, our recollections of past events are vital to shaping our present and our future. This doesn't just apply to the foundation of Ah-mer-ick-ah, as you may have thought back in 7th grade, or continue to think Mr. President. No, nu-uh, wrong-o, Wall of Shame. It applies to us as well. We have a personal history, and it's recorded in that pudding in our skulls. Our nerves have memories as well. That's why your golf swing continues to suck. If you feel, you learn. If you think, you learn. But only if you remember.
Yes, skinny red-head in the front who's attentively taking notes before she moves to Chicago?
But what the hell does this have to do with me?
Everything, baby. You forgot! For that brief moment you took a stand. You stood up and said, "This shit is ridiculous. Fuck you!" You made your point. You showed how a seemingly self-less act of human love and compassion could be twisted and corrupted by political bullshit. I'm there with ya, sister. It's bullshit. Believe me, I know.
Oh, but you took it back. You apologized. No, no, no! NO! NOOOO! You don't apologize for your thoughts. You don't apologize for having a heart; for being human. You do NOT apologize for having an informed opinion. Not ever! Wall of Fucking Shame, sister!
When you do that, it's like you said nothing at all. You forgot that we can be anything we want to be at any moment. We don't always see the world as what it is, but as we want it to be. You forgot that hard words are needed. Sometimes they are the only thing that can penetrate our prejudices. Sometimes they the only thing that makes us face what we believe; to face how we see the world. Hard words make us confront ourselves. And if we have our eyes and hearts open, they make us better. But, most of all, you forgot that “those people” would, quite unapologetically, crucify you for thinking those thoughts, let alone writing them. And you apologized? To them?
I've got my own little tirade against the Church coming. I've been mulling over it for about 10 years now, and I think I got all the words in place. You felt you had to apologize? You think someone may have been offended. Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet. And I ain't one little bit sorry for thinking it, either. Know why? Kuz I remember, baby.