Friday, November 04, 2005

Silly Casey, Demands, Scary Shit, and Bitching

Few things about other people, then back to my Chattanooga Middle School adventure:

1) Casey, honey, it's called the Prostate. You don't have one. Only works when we're sporting wood, but it's a valve nonetheless.

2) I agree with Rachel. Some of you bitches need to update more often. Once a week at least. That's not a request.

3) For those of you not in the Nooch, a girl at UTC was gang raped in her campus dorm room fairly recently. Lots of bullshit going on right now. More on that later.

Ok, back to the happy stuff.

Day 2 at CMS was just fucking lame. I arrived at 8:45 in a good mood and ready to give it another shot. During Home Room, The Voice came over the intercom announced that it was a half day and that the entire school would be watching Star Wars. Any misbehavior would result in immediate transfer to the In School Suspension ward. I got that warm, vomity, taste in the back of my mouth.

I swear to God, herding cats is easier than trying to get 18 8th graders from one room to another. I caught 2 kids trying to ditch. They tried to ignore me. Poor bastards never saw what hit them. (No, it wasn't my righteous and mighty back-hand.) I manage to lead them up the stairs and proceeded to move them past the door to the auditorium. One of them posed the obvious question, "where are we going?" Calmly, I replied, "ISS." This produced a very satisfying outburst of this isn't fairs, I'll behaves, and other pathetic blatherings. "Ok," I said, "what's my name?" One of them knew it, even though it took him a minute to fight through the fog of his memory. "And you're going to remember me, right?" They replied in the affirmative. "Ok, balance the following equation and you can see the movie: x-3=3" (Easy right? They've been doing this for weeks.) More complaints that struck with all the weight of a marshmallow hurled by Casey. (I bet you throw like a girl.) "I guess you guys need some more practice," I said, "Let's go." Oh, how they hate me now...but they'll remember me, come next week.

Sorry kids, you don't ditch class. I made sure to make that clear to them something productive to do with their time was just icing on the taco for me. The day was still a waste of my time, and the residual frustration from being exposed to ignorance, apathy, and general recalcitrance just shit in my Malt-o-meal today. And that's just the fuck-o who decided it would be a good idea to show a school full of rabid pre-teens a movie. I can handle the latter two, but when combined with the first, I get twitchy. I don't think I'm gona do too well on my Latin quiz tomorrow.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Ben Franklin


At 12:51 AM, Blogger suit case said...

thank you. you have made me feel much better about urinary tract

At 12:29 AM, Anonymous naharnahekim said...

Chuck, your a bastard for a number of reasons, but mostly cuase you would have been one of those kids trying to sneak off. Actually, I take that back, your a bastard cuase you would have snuck off, and if you had gotten cuaght somehow I would be sent to botswana or siberia or some shit.


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