Know What? Fuck It.
It's really none of your business, so why should I thrust it upon you? I mean, seriously...what the fuck was I thinking?
I know I said I'd slice myself open, reveal the hamster that drives this machine, and wax emotional about the whole Mike and Amber thing. but you know what? Fuck it. That was none of my business in the first place, and it felt shitty that Amber decided to involve me. And that's about all I'm going to allow the internet to know about it.
That was the phone call I "had" to make, but decided to just say FUCK IT and not to.
But I did learn something from the whole Episode That Wasn't. I learned something about myself. I found the one thing that has been and will remain consistent with me until the sun goes nova and blasts the universe to electrons. And I'm not telling you what it is. Sorry. This one's for me. Maybe I'll talk about it some day. Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, it's pretty cool.
And really, it's none of your business anyway.